On Personal Boundaries

In our frenzy way of life, it is important for you, today, to set your personal boundaries. Setting your personal boundaries, in a clear, straightforward and unquestionable manner, is a way for you to protect yourself from the requirements of other people (including family, friends, co-workers, business associates, partners, etc). It is also, a personal responsibility and commitment in the things you want to do (in your life and for your life and the life of other people)!

Personal Boundaries

What Are Boundaries?

There are many definitions about boundaries. But, in general, you can consider them as:

guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.(from: Boundaries)

And of course:

Healthy boundaries help us to create our own destiny. (from: Boundaries)

For this reason it is important to know about them, recognize them (when we see them in other people), respect them (when related to other people), set them (when they needed) and actively cultivate them!

Why You Need Personal Boundaries

You have to set personal boundaries in order:

  • to find time to reflect on your goals and objectives,
  • to decide what is important for you (or not) and pursue it!
  • to protect yourself from the demands of the other people you associate with and not to be consumed by the demands and requirements of the other people (either in business or in personal life)
  • to have a balance between your personal and business areas of your life
  • to have greater confidence in your abilities to decide and acting according to your beliefs
  • to lead more effectively yourself and have greater impact with your life and the example to other people
  • to practice an active and fulfilling life based on your most core principles and values
  • to be more aware of your strength and weaknesses (and of how these can influence your life and that of the others!)
  • to have more self-control, awareness and knowledge of yourself in different situations
  • to have the ownership of your life
  • etc.

Where Do You Need To Set Boundaries?

Basically, in every sector of your life. At lease in every area, you are actively engaged and want to make an impact for yourself and the other people. Such areas include (but are not limited) to your:

  • Business Life: In order
    • to plan more effectively,
    • to pursue more effectively your business goals and objectives,
    • to have more time for reflection and changing of your actions (if needed),
    • to develop leadership & strategic thinking on the business matters you are interested with,
    • to have time to develop required knowledge, skills and attitudes in yourself and in others
    • to cope with stress,
    • to maximize your income and earnings from your job,
    • to develop more crucial and important business contact, connections, alliances, and incentives
    • to have more able time for much-required business development and innovation,
    • to do your work in the right way
  • Personal Life:
    • to design better your future and career,
    • to actively pursue your health and fitness objectives,
    • to develop better and healthier habits,
    • to develop a better mental and spiritual level,
    • to have more time to pursue the things your are interested in,
    • to develop and cultivate better, healthier and deeper relationships with the people you interested of being with, as with yourself, family, friends, and other relationships.

and in any other area of life it is of interest to you and you want to make a difference (as is your community, society, etc)

How To Build And Sustain Better Personal Boundaries

It is much better, before you reach a “limit” you cannot cross (personal or professional) to develop a new mentality, that would help the setting of solid boundaries and keep you safeguarded of “unreasonable” requests! There are many ways for that. Some of them, require of you to:

  1. Clarify your goals and objectives in life and actively “re”-introduce them in your everyday activities, tasks, and doings!
  2. Communicate your intentions, as clear as possible and as broad as possible!
  3. Evaluate carefully your strength and weakness and plan your course of actions in a way that would not put you in “dire straits” or leave other people unaided or without support (in any given situation)!,
  4. Be as straightforward as possible about your intentions, objectives and plans in any given situation,
  5. Set your limits and make them known to everyone
  6. Build a “not to do list” (perhaps more than one!) and
  7. Review, reflect and contemplate daily your important activities, duties, and chores and practice them constantly and habitually

to name, just a few!

As you can see, all of them require an intended and deliberated action, by YOU. At the end, the how we set and employ our personal boundaries is a way of living closer to out values and principles. That why the developing and setting of personal boundaries is so much important for everyone.

Question: Have you ever break the personal boundaries, you have set in a situation, and if you do, why? Do you have set your personal boundaries? Do you have demanded respect of your personal boundaries, and if so, how you achieve it?

    Takis Athanassiou is an IT Consultant, Blogger, Trainer & Writer, active in the areas of leadership, business consulting, e-Learning and social media. He aims at the development of people, business and assets! You can check out his blog, add him in Google+ and follow him on Twitter.

    Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.